With how much narcissism has grown in people, you probably have encountered someone you suspected might be a narcissist.
Experts also say narcissistic traits are not limited to romantic partners – and can be far harder to spot when they show up in your friendships, family bond and the workplace.
Leading psychologists have identified five common types of narcissists and explained how to recognize them.
They warn these personalities can be found in some of the closest relationships in our lives – from parents and siblings to friends and spouses.
Narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, is officially recognised in the DSM-5-TR, the diagnostic manual used by mental health professionals.
According to psychotherapist Kathleen Saxton, more than one in ten people worldwide may display narcissistic traits.
Here some kinds of narcissism:
The dominant partner:
These individuals may gaslight, lie, blame, exploit and control their partner, often making false promises in order to maintain power in the relationship.
Sumeet Grover, a psychotherapist registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, says the severity of the traits matters.
“Those lower on the spectrum may be able to observe their partner’s emotions and feel some guilt,” he said, adding, “They may be open to listening to your perspective and considering how to act differently.”
The brain-drain friend:
Another common type is the friend who leaves you feeling drained of energy after every meet up you have with them.
These individuals often dominate conversations, undermine others and make it difficult for friends to express their own views.
Dee Johnson, a BACP-accredited counsellor, says such behaviour is often calculated rather than careless.
“They target vulnerable, less confident people who are grateful for the friendship and easier to manipulate,” she said.
The selfish parent:
Experts say that a narcissistic parent is one of the most painful relationships to confront.
Parents are expected to offer unconditional love, but narcissistic parents may make affection conditional and transactional.
Ms Johnson said this can be deeply damaging, mentioning, “When you realise your parent’s motivation is “me first”, you feel unsafe and ignored.”
The sibling who plays the blame game:
Siblings argue, but a sibling who relentlessly blames you for problems may be displaying narcissistic traits.
Ms. Johnson says the most difficult aspect is often grieving the relationship you wish you had.
“People look at other families and realise they may never have that closeness,” she said. “That loss needs to be acknowledged.”
